More story-telling.....

The next morning hubs asked about taking an hpt, it worked for P.hoeb.e, he said? I, of course had my reservations about this… I just don’t know if I can handle another negative. Or worse, what if I still have the Ovidrel in my system and get a false positive? I told him I would take a test if he wanted me too and he said, he would rather know before the beta appt. I went to the store that day and bought a box of three BUT decided I wouldn’t take one until it had been at least 7-8 days from taking the hcg injection. Goo.gle says, it can take anywhere from five to eleven days to be out of your system, so Saturday {9/17} or Sunday {9/18}, I might take an hpt. Might! Ok, I probably will, but only because J wants me to. I want to too a little bit, but I know as soon as I do, I will become an hpt addict. If it’s positive I won’t believe it for fear it’s still the Ovidrel in my system or because after TTC for 8 years I am finally where I’ve always wanted to be and can’t believe it’s true! And if it’s negative, I’ll be holding out faith that I tested too early and there’s not enough in my system so I must keep trying until I get the result I want. Oy! The drama of HPT’s…….

When we started this C we decided that we were not going to tell a soul about it until hopefully it worked. But then after my SIL’s miscarriage, we decided {if it did work} we wouldn’t tell anyone until after 3 months or Christmas. I’ve always had big dreams/plans of telling our news on Christmas day! So, we agreed. NO one would know what we are up to this C. That’s the plan anyways, there’s no telling how long we’d be able to keep that information in, if it really does work!
It has been so incredibly hard not to talk about this. And in the beginning, I felt really bad about not telling my blog girls what’s going on, especially after you all have been there for me through all my ups & downs these past few years. But, I have to say this whole not telling people has made hubs & I all the more closer and I wouldn’t trade that for the world! I never thought J would be excited as much as I am but he is! It’s different this time around… During IVF, everyone knew, and so everyone chimed in of how “they just knew it would work” and “how so & so’s bff’s uncle’s niece did IVF and how it worked for them and so it had to work for us!” I know they thought that was helpful, them being all positive and all. But in the end, when it didn’t work, that was just all the more people to let down. Plus, it is kind of nice keeping this “in the bedroom” matter between the two of us, for once…. J still doesn’t talk about it as much as I do, {ahem, he is a guy after all}, but when I’ve had all I can take, I tell him he HAS to talk about it with me because no one else knows. And so he does! We are both hopeful and anxiously awaiting our first beta appointment!!!

To be continued….. More to come tomorrow, though I might post again tonight! This story is so long and I know you have a life. I promise I'm getting to it! In the meantime, if you missed anything{cause I hear the blog roll isn't updating fast enough with all my posts} you can catch up on the previous posts starting with this one! There's too many to link back to, so start there and work your way newer. :)