Izzie

My puppy! Well, she's not quite a puppy anymore. She's 4 mos. old, I think. I guess that's still considered a puppy, she's just a big puppy.


I finally found my battery charger for my camera. I tried to take better pics of her but she kept jumping around and I couldn't get her to pose. (I don't know why I thought a dog would pose) I'll have to sneak up on her when she is sleeping and try to get a good pic. :P

NOT just for toilets....

Cleaning tip of the day!

I was cleaning the toilet the other day with T.he Wo.rks toilet bowl cleaner, when it occurred to me that I have these hard water stains in the sink and bathtub as well. So, I squirted some in the tub & sink and sure enough it worked wonders!! I didn't even have to scrub or anything! Just squirt it on and rinse off. Amazing!

Eye Dr, Shmy Dr....

I went to the eye dr the other day and apparently I'm blind. He wanted me to get glasses only, but I said I wanted contacts. So I am getting both!

First of all, I had never seen this dr before. I was a new patient. He comes in the room, barely says hi, and starts reading the chart. He never even introduced himself. Right away I was irritated! Then, he starts the eye exam and if you have a profession where you are in someones face all the time, make sure your breath smells good. OMG, he had the worst breath!! I was trying to hold my breath so I didn't smell it. It was so gross! While holding my breath, I guess I accidently moved my chin and he snaps at me. So, now I'm more irritated!!!! If that wasn't enough? He then fully dialates my eyes so he can check for diseases or whatever. And while my eyes are dialated tells me to go pick out my frames. WTH?!? I can't see anything close up only far away. I mean I could see but it was so blurry that I couldn't make stuff out. I have never wore glasses and I'm supposed to pick out frames while my eyes are dialated???

I couldn't see/read anything close up for about 4 hours after that. I only hope that I managed to pick out some decent frames while I was in there. I told the frame lady that they should let you pick out frames before they dialate your eyes. And she says, "that would make sense, wouldn't it?" DUH!!!!

~3 things about me~

I got tagged by Margriet to do the "three things to share" post. I am tagging Richelle, Jennifer, Caitlin, & Sherry (copy & paste this to your post, delete my answers and type in your own)





THREE NAMES I GO BY

1. Jenn

2. Aunt Dee (by my 2 nephews)

3. Baby (by my DH)



THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE

1. Receptionist

2. Teacher's Aide

3. Office Manager



THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED

1. South Africa (I grew up there)

2. a small town in Texas

3. a med-size town in Texas



THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH

1. Br.oth.er's & Si.ste.r's

2. Gr.ey's Ana.tom.y

3. Bi.g Ban.g Th.eory



THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN

1. Las Vegas

2. Hawaii

3. Florida



THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO

1. Turks & Caico (sp?)

2. New Zealand

3. Australia



THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS

1. Steak

2. chips & salsa

3. Ol.ive Gar.den's salad & breadsticks



THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO

1. spending as much time as possible on our boat, this summer!

2. vaca in May!

3. hopefully having children of my own soon!!



THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED

1. Izzie, dog

2. Max, cat

3. Daisy, dog



THREE FAVORITE BANDS/ ARTISTS

1. Colbie Cailat

2. Jason Mraz

3. Nickelback



THREE FAVORITE TEAMS TO WATCH

1. cowbows

2. Cowboys

3. COWBOYS



THREE FAVORITE DRINKS

1. Coke

2. Tea

3. Hot cocoa



Thanks for tagging me Margriet! I love reading the different things about everyone!

general consenus

Help me out here. As you know we are moving, and I think it is customary to leave the curtains when you sell your house. Right? Well, I am ok with leaving all of them except the kitchen curtains. They match all my kitchen decor and I love them! I know I can still buy them at Lo.we.'s, but I already paid $60 for them and I don't want to buy them again. What shoud I do?

Now, all our windows have mini-blinds, so obviously they stay, but would it really be that bad if I took my kitchen curtains w/me? I have other curtains, that I wouldn't mind leaving behind, but I think if I changed them out that might bring more attention to the window. Certainly the buyer's not going to back out of getting the house b/c I took my curtains with me. I mean, c'mon? Plus, I've met her and I wouldn't say they are not her style, but she is planning on decorating w/antiques and I think they are more modern. Is any of this making sense?

I don't think she will see the house again until she moves in. So, maybe she will be so excited about buying and moving into her new house, that she won't notice the missing curtains.

I need a general consenus here. What should I do?

Where Do I Begin?

It all started with the bank calling us and denying us for a loan. We have to be out of our house in 25 days and I guess we will be homeless. So we are trying to get a loan somewhere else, but most likely we are going to have to move in to an apartment for a couple of months, before we can buy. This means we get to move twice, Ugh. I HATE renting!!!!

Next, we were off to my BIL & SIL's land so DH could help him w/builidng their house. Well, I really didn't want to go b/c I am still not over being ticked off about her last stupid, moronic, and absurd comment. (Yes, this is the same KU SIL I vented about on we.bm.d) Well, we get out there and she is gone doing who know's what. Then later after she gets back, I figure out that she is still smoking. Yep, you read it right! Smoking at 6 mos. pg?!?!? But she is trying to hide it from me, she sat in the truck to smoke and then comes & sits down next to me and starts talking. Um, hello, I have nostrils and I can smell it. The fact that she won't smoke in front of me just means that she knows she shouldn't be doing that and that I will get mad at her. GRRRR!!

Then, we are on our way home and I'm upset about not getting the loan, mad at my SIL for taking her pregnancy for granted, and being irresponsible. And the phone rings, its my dad and yes I may have sounded a bit irritated but it wasn't w/him I was having a bad day and he called at the wrong time. Well, he starts chewing me out saying that I have been rude to him & my mom, and they think I don't want to talk to them or be bothered by them, and that I need to listen to how I sound when I talk to people because my voice is shrill.

I get off the phone and I don't know if I should scream, cry, or start punching someone. Maybe a combination of all 3 would have worked. I just sat there. I told DH I know I've changed, but I don't know how someone can go through 4 1/2 years of infertility and my brother dying in a motorcycle accident and not change. In the last 5 years its been heartache after heartache, how do you go through 2 awful things at the same time and not change?

I think it all started to hit me today and I thought I was having an anxiety attack. My chest started hurting and it was a little harder to breathe. I had to make myself stop thinking and then I turned up the radio and tried to focus only on the song.

I hope tomorrow's a better day! I could so use a positive day.

Lookin' Good

The insp on the house went well. The buyer has a few thing she wants us to fix/replace and I think we will probly do them. And when I say we, I mean DH ;) Its nothing too major, I hope!

The bank still hasn't told us if we are pre-approved or not. They seriously need to get a move on it, since we have to be out in 25 days!!!!


TTC Wise - Nothing new, its CD6 (I think). I want to try the turkey-baster method again this C. No real reason other than I think it would make a great story one day. HAHA!! I'll have to see if DH is ready to humor me again. :0) The things our hubs do for us............I'm so lucky I've got a great DH ~ He's the bestest!!

Dear Friend

I cut this poem out of Stepping Stones and it truly says what I feel. I wish I had an IRL friend like this, but I know that I have found that friend in all of you wonderful ladies. Thanks for always being there for me. You girls are the best!! As I read it just now it brought a tear to my eye. I've had this for a couple of years now, and never did I realize when I first read it that I would still be TTC today. I hope you enjoy this!

Dear Friend
Will you be someine who understands?
Will you understand when I tell you that I need a friend
Who will listen as I share my journey through infertility?

So many others have only had advice: Miracle stories,
herb teas, and new love-making positions.

Will you understand month after month when I need to
share my disappointment from another unsuccessful attempt?

Will you understand when I tell you that I rage and pound my fists at God
Because He doesn't seem to hear me and take away this pain?
Will you know to pray for me when I can no longer pray for myself?
Will you know to send me a card to remind me that I am not alone?

Will you understand the tears that well up when you tell me your pregnant?
Will you understand that I celebrate with you, yet long for the day
When a friend's pregnancy doesn't remind me of my barrenness?
Will you understand when I start to pull away
When your tummy starts to bulge?

As much as I long to share in the excitement, I find the ache too much
As other women encircle you and the coversation turns to motherhood.

Will you understand when I don't come to your baby shower?
I can't imagine the strength I will need to hold back the tears
In the midst of baby clothes, breastfeeding tips, and birth stories.

Will you understand when your baby is born and I don't come to visit right away?
Please know that I long to hold your child and congratulate you in person
But holding a newborn in my arms spirals me into a place of envy and pain.

Will you understand that my empty arms are still heavy with the grief they carry?
Will you understand that your greatest joy is my deepest sorrow?

When the months turn into years, and you are expecting your second child
Will you understand that I still long to bear a child in my womb?

Will you still be my friend?

Inspection

Our house inspection is today!!! This is moving right along, our closing date is April 17, provided everything goes well today. If they did find something wrong she has 5 days to change her mind and not buy the house. But otherwise, we close on April 17, that's only 29 days away!!! OMG!! I can't even start packing til' after the opt-out period, so I know for sure she is buying it. Then, it will be only 24 days til' closing.

Sweet fancy Moses, I'm going to be having a major packing party for any of you that want to come & help. I'll provide the drinks since its CD2 and you know what that means. :(

At least I get to do IVF again after we sell the house and get some other things paid off. Yea!!! I am so excited! DH called last night after he got to work and asked what I was doing. I told him he probly didn't want to know, b/c I was reading about the IVF and finding out how much it was going to cost and what the refund would be if it doesn't work. (we haven't even technically sold the house yet.) I'm trying not to count me eggs before they hatch, no pun intended. But its gonna work, it has to! He knows how exciting this is for me, and he's excited too, I think. :0)

TTC KNOTS

TTC Knots (I'm not sure who it was that posted this a while back on w.eb.md, but I liked it so I thought I'd share it on my blog.)

***When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on ****

Type 1 - The DH Knot - Good for other uses than TTC too
Step #1 Have DH open his arms
Step #2 Step very close to DH and wrap your arms around him
Step #3 (Usually is done without instruction) DH arms close around you. You have now tied the DH Knot so just hang on he is with you too



Type 2 - The Web MD TTC 12+ Knot
Step #1 Log into WebMD
Step #2 Type about your feelings or thoughts
Step #3 Watch and feel all the virtual hugs these supportive ladies send (((HUGS))) We are your knot, we will help you hang on



Type 3 - The God Knot
Step #1 Pray to God, for he does answer all prayers
Step #2 Feel him stir your soul with the hug you needed Even though you cannot see this knot, know that God is there for you to hold onto



Type 4 - The Self Knot - Now ladies this Knot is not for the weak, it takes a

ton of strength to tie this one.
Step #1 Remember you are a WONDER FUL WOMAN

Step #2 Look in the mirror and repeat "I am stronger than I know"

Step #3 Wrap your arms around your self and SQUEEZE!

Remember to keep repeating Step #2. Sometimes we need to tie our self in a knot and hang onto our dreams and hopes. This is the hardest knot of all for there are many days where we feel like our dreams and hopes have fallen off the end of that rope. For those who have not yet tied a not of some type REMEMBER If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.

Hair Poll

My hair is driving me CrAzY!!!!! I am trying to grow it out and its only grown about 3 inches in the last year. Grrr!! So, to keep my mind off that I've been trying to get it blonde like I did last summer and it keeps going either strawberry blonde(but not a pretty SB), or light brown, which is pretty much my natural hair color. I am too cheap to pay $80 in a salon, for what I can do myself for $6-$12. I need help!!! I might just have to breakdown and go to a salon. Ugh!

So, I want to know a few things about your hair.

1. What is your natural hair color?

2. What is your current hair color?

3. Do you color it youself?
And if so,
-Do you use temp. or permanant color?
-Which brand do you use?

4.Do you get it colored/highlighted professionally?
And if so,
-Where do you go?
-How often do you go/
-How much is it?

~My answers are in my comments.

Thanks Ladies!

Finish the sentence:

Finish the sentence:



Hi, my name is: Jenn.

Never in my life have I been to: Disney World.

I hate it when: I start my period.

If your gonna talk smack about me: say it too my face.

The one person who can drive me nuts is: My SIL.

When I'm nervous: I sweat.

The last song I listened to was: Shatt.ered by OA.R

If you were to get married today Your maid of honor/best man would be: my sis/DH's brother.

My hair is: up and needs to be highlighted.

When I was 5: I dreamed of being a mommy.

Last Christmas: was bittersweet.

I should be: getting ready for bed.

When I look down I see: unopened mail.

The happiest recent event was: anytime spent w/DH.

My current annoyance is: stupid people/drivers.

I have a hard time understanding: Why I haven't been able to get pregnant yet and why my brother had to die so young.

There's this girl that I know: that really irritates me.

The thing I want to buy is: a new cell phone.

If you visited the place I'm from: it would take a couple of days to get from one side of the state to the other side.

Most recent thing I've bought myself: was a new bikini.

Most recent thing someone else bought me was: a gun.

My middle name is: the same as my DH's ex-wife's first name. (Super Sucks!!)

Last night I was: watching Gre.y's An.atom.y.

If I was an animal I'd be: a lion cub. (What a pretty puty-tat).

Tomorrow I am: working on the house w/DH.

Tonight I am: hoping to get some good sleep.

This week's updatish.......

........Okay, its CD28, and my Bb's hurt but only from the electrical burn from tanning. Ouchie!! But its self-inflicted so I can't complain. Plus I've only tanned for 4 days and I am already getting dark. Woo-hoo!!!

Our realtor called last night at 5pm and said she wanted to show the house at 6:30pm. The house was a complete wreck and DH was still asleep(he works nights). So I tell DH he has to get up and I start frantically cleaning. Long story short, they loved our house, and they want to make an offer!!! So our realtor says she will let me know as soon as she finds out something. I can't wait. I hope its an acceptable offer. - On the one hand, I love how we just remodeled it and will be sad to leave, but on the other hand, selling the house is how we plan to pay off our current IVF loan so we can do IVF again. And, well I want a baby more, so its goodbye house.

As you know, we bought our boat 2 weeks ago. We had it 10 days, when DH realized it had a bad engine, and to replace it would cost us $6000! That's almost what we paid for the boat. Grrr!!
So, DH calls the place where we got it and they say bring it in and we'll fix it. Well, DH starts yelling at them saying he's not going to pay for getting it fixed b/c they said everything was in great shape and worked perfectly. And to my surprise, they said they will fix everything at their expense. I couldn't believe it! I thought we were screwed, big time. Our boat is still there being fixed, but I don't care, cause I'm not paying for it. Besides, it was cold & rainy all this week so we couldn't have used it anyways.

Hope everyone has a great freaky friday!! I'll post when I hear something on our house. Wish us luck, please. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

More Letters

These are the letters that were in my lost comments. So, I thought I'd try to name a few things for each letter given to me.

Here goes nothing......

M-
my mamaw
money - hey I like it!
miracles, praying I get one soon!!

N-
nephews
nieces

P-
pool, as in swimming, but the game is fun too

R-
riding on the motorcycle w/DH. Good times, but probly won't happen again ;]
relaxation

S-
sisters, I have 6
sunshine
smiles
sugars, as in kisses from DH and my nephews & nieces

If I was more creative I could think of more stuff for P & R, but who knows how much longer that would take!?!

They DO Exist

my blog friends that is. :sillygrin: I am so sorry!!! I knew it had to be operator error and it was. I think I have fixed the prob. Sorry I screwed up the whole letter game by picking my own letter. I had comments out the WAZOO!!!!!!!!!!! And here I was having a pity party thinking nobody liked me.


And to clarify, I changed my mind on the pickles & peanut butter sandwich and just dipped the pickle into the peanut butter jar. Very good - I highly reccomend it.

~L~

I pick the letter L, no real reason its just the first letter that came to mind.


LAUGHS - I luv to have a good laugh!

LOVE - I love giving love, having love, sharing love. It's love what more can I say!?

LAKE - spending the day w/DH on our boat at the lake. Ahhhh, such good times!

LEMON SQUARES - I've been eating these since I was little and I still love them. Mmm!!!

LAZY DAYS - spent with the hubs

L**** - what we want to name our daughter. We are keeping it a secret, but it does start w/L

LIVING LIFE - to the fullest

LAYING ON THE BEACH - getting a tan

DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD
FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE
WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

:D I needed something funny today, and thought I'd share this!

Curious....

I noticed I haven't been receiving any comments on my blogs lately. I think this all started around the time I added the music. So, I have turned the tunes off in order to see if that was the reason no one was posting comments. Hmmm.....Could it be the music chasing people away???
Its either that or my life really isn't interesting to anyone in blog land. :) I dunno?!

BTW - The pickles and peanut butter was delish!

And can someone please give me a letter so I can play the fun letter game. I guess I could ask DH to pick a letter of the alphabet and use that one. I'll do that if no one gives me one on here. ;}

Okay, thanks for reading!

peanut butter & pickles

Everything lined up perfectly in January, I knew exactly when I O'd and we did the deed at all the right times. Then February shows, and I have a short and oh so light C. Which made me kinda think, "what if"? I put those thoughts behind me and moved forward. I couldn't bare to see another negative HPT. About a week or so later I got really sick, I never actually threw up, but I did run in there a few times thinking I was going to be sick. I hardly ate anything for a week. The very thought, sight, smell and taste of food made my stomach hurt. Needless to say I lost 10 lbs. that week. (Don't worry I think I already gained it all back.) After the light C and being sick I decided to POAS, however it was yet another BFN. ;(

Well, I slowly started feeling better and I feel great now, just a little tired. It is now CD24 and I'm not feeling any symptoms of AF. I am however wanting to try a peanut butter & pickle sandwich. It may sound gross to you, but I think it will be good. Mmm.....tasty! I will let you know if it was a good idea or not. I don't know what to think of my cycles. I am definitely confused by these mixed signals that my brain is throwing at me. It is so frustrating to try and decifer each and every little symptom.

I just want to be pregnant and have healthy children. Is that really too much to ask? I'm tired of waiting and watching everyone else get pregnant with their 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc. When is it going to be mine & DH's turn to start our family?

So Addicted........

I am so addicted to Vi.cto.ri.a's Se.cre.t swimsuits. Well, any brand, but I really like V.S. I think I might seriously have a problem. I might have to join BBA - Bikini Buying Annonymous. Haha!! I have already bought 2 new bikinis and it's not even summer yet! Then, I got a clearance cataloge the other day and found 3 more I want. I counted how many I already have ten, 10 different bikinis. CrAzY, I know. That's not the worst of it, another cataloge came today (I usually get 3-5 cataloges a week), and you guessed it, I found some more!!!! DH also found a couple that he wants me to get, of course I had to remind him that it will look a little different on me since I don't have the same size ta-ta's that those girls have. :}

Random things from my week...

I know I need to post something, but as I said in the beginning my life is not that interesting. :D

I want to start tanning but I haven't gone up there and paid for a new membership. I'm sure it would only take 20 min. or so, but I keep putting it off. Why? I don't know. I want a good tan so I don't get burned on vaca (we leave the middle of May!!). I seriously need to get started.

We got a new boat last week. It's a 2000 Glastron SX 175 (you boaters will know what kind this is), so it isn't new new, but its new to us! We bought it on Friday, 6 days ago and wouldn't you know a cold front came in that night. Grrr. The weather is driving me Crazy!!! I want to go out on the lake. And today is finally warm enough to be on the lake, and the hubs is working. What a predicament!! So, until his next day off (that lines up w/warm weather), I will be sitting in the boat, (in the driveway!), Daydreaming. Aahhhh....what happy times!!!!!

That's all for now, more boring things from my life another time. I better start cleaning, before the hubs gets home and realizes I've done nothing. Can't have that!!!!

Possible Sign?

Oh, I just remembered, when I pulled out of the restaurant parking lot, this was playing on the radio. Is it a sign? Maybe mamaw's right afterall?

Cowgirls Don't Cry,
Ride baby ride,
lessons in life are gonna show you in time,
soon enough your gonna know why,
its gonna hurt every now and then,
if you fall get back up again,
Cowgirls don't cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTCTXu98Ozk

Today

Okay, so I haven't been going to church as much as I should lately. I went today cause one of my SIL'S went w/me and I didn't have to be by myself (DH was asleep b/c he worked last night).
With not being able to get pg and my brother dying, I have been a little upset w/God. And its been hard for me to go to church. I feel like I can't catch a break. And well my dad is the pastor so I always hear about it from him, like at family things or when I go to mom & dad's house. I guess he told my mamaw that I was mad at God, b/c she came up to me after lunch today and starts telling me that she "heard" I was mad at God and that I don't need to be mad at Him and that I need Him in my life. She says this at lunch, in a restaurant with family and other church people there. She was kinda talking in my ear, but not as a whisper or anything so I hope no one heard her. She also said, that God has a baby in store for me, and I am going to be blessed with a baby. I love my mamaw and I know she means well, I only hopes she's right. I was just embaressed a bit in front of everyone, and then I started to cry, but I got it under control.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In one of my earlier posts I mentioned something about filling the voids, so here's my theory:

Obviously, my void is not having a baby. I always tell DH that I'm filling the void, when I go shopping or buy stuff. The first time he didn't know what I was talking about, until I explained it to him. Its like this. If i had a baby I wouldn't be able to buy stuff for me as much, but I wouldn't want to either. I would so rather have a baby more than anything else, but until then we continue to buy toys, well, big people toys. For instance, in the almost 6 years we have been married, we have had:
1 motorcycle (sold this after my brother's accident, don't know if I can ride one now)
1 three-wheeler
3 travel trailers
4 boats (just bought the 4th one 2 days ago!!)
and over 2 dozen different cars and trucks, yes I said over 2 dozen. I can't even keep up w/how many any more.

Whenever I find out someone's PG or when AF arrives and I'm all depressed, then I go shopping or at least window shopping to try and fill the void. Though none of this stuff will ever fill it, I guess it makes me feel a little less bad about myself. So that's my theory on filling the voids in life. Is it me, or does anyone else feel this way?