Dear Friend

I cut this poem out of Stepping Stones and it truly says what I feel. I wish I had an IRL friend like this, but I know that I have found that friend in all of you wonderful ladies. Thanks for always being there for me. You girls are the best!! As I read it just now it brought a tear to my eye. I've had this for a couple of years now, and never did I realize when I first read it that I would still be TTC today. I hope you enjoy this!

Dear Friend
Will you be someine who understands?
Will you understand when I tell you that I need a friend
Who will listen as I share my journey through infertility?

So many others have only had advice: Miracle stories,
herb teas, and new love-making positions.

Will you understand month after month when I need to
share my disappointment from another unsuccessful attempt?

Will you understand when I tell you that I rage and pound my fists at God
Because He doesn't seem to hear me and take away this pain?
Will you know to pray for me when I can no longer pray for myself?
Will you know to send me a card to remind me that I am not alone?

Will you understand the tears that well up when you tell me your pregnant?
Will you understand that I celebrate with you, yet long for the day
When a friend's pregnancy doesn't remind me of my barrenness?
Will you understand when I start to pull away
When your tummy starts to bulge?

As much as I long to share in the excitement, I find the ache too much
As other women encircle you and the coversation turns to motherhood.

Will you understand when I don't come to your baby shower?
I can't imagine the strength I will need to hold back the tears
In the midst of baby clothes, breastfeeding tips, and birth stories.

Will you understand when your baby is born and I don't come to visit right away?
Please know that I long to hold your child and congratulate you in person
But holding a newborn in my arms spirals me into a place of envy and pain.

Will you understand that my empty arms are still heavy with the grief they carry?
Will you understand that your greatest joy is my deepest sorrow?

When the months turn into years, and you are expecting your second child
Will you understand that I still long to bear a child in my womb?

Will you still be my friend?