Merry, Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all!

And to all;

A better IF year!!

You is....

I've been having a very hard time this week with post miscarriage feelings. I would have been 16w2days today. This is supposed to be my merry Christmas. I went for another beta yesterday and my numbers were 33. Which means, I have to go back again next week. In the last ten weeks, I've had eight doctor appointments. I'm so ready for all this to be over. Every time I think I can start moving forward and try to forget this, I have to go back in for another beta and be reminded all over again. I just want it to be over already.

I watched .Th.eHel.p the other day and heard this saying. I'm trying to remember this and I know I'll be reciting this to myself over the next couple of days. Anything to get me through....

8, 3, 1, 2 & 30

I've been thinking a lot about our TTC years lately. If my infertility life was told by numbers it would be; eight, three, one, two and thirty.

EIGHT....years of TTC.
THREE...unsuccessful IUI's.
ONE.......failed IVF.
TWO......miscarriages.
THIRTY.thousand dollars.

I need{want} new{better} numbers!


What would your numbers be?

Shoulda, woulda, coulda bullets

I have a few things to say, but probably not too much on any one topic, so I'm gonna go with just bullet updates today.

*Work is going good. The phone lines are very, very busy. And even on a slow day{like today}
I still took over two hundred calls. By the end of my shift, I have trouble forming a sentence unless its scripted! Thus the gap in my blog posts.

*I've included a sound bit below from an old episode of Br.other.s&Si.sters. I hate that it went off the air. It helped me so much going through IF and with the loss of my brother. I really think it was my own little version of therapy....

*I'm feeling a bit blue. Every week I can't help but think of how far I would have been along. Come Christmas, I would have{should have} been 16w4d. It could have been our best Christmas. And yet somehow, I still manage to find hope and push forward. I don't know where it's coming from, but very glad it's coming from somewhere.

*I know I don't want to be a complete horrible mess of bitterness this Christmas and I am really trying to stay busy and be positive and most importantly, not let IF ruin another Christmas.

*Alrighty chica's! That's gonna do it for me tonight. I hope you enjoy the wisdom that Sa.llyF.eilds gives to her children.

Wisdom from Bro.thers&S.isters

The part I'm referring to happens when there's 4 mins and 14 seconds left in the clip and lasts just over two minutes. The mom is talking to her kids, "Catherine & Devin".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuhdTxPCQ3Y&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Sorry I couldn't get a clip of just that part. :/

Sent from my iPad

For those of you that have been to the sono clinics??

My SIL that had a m/c right before I did was talking to me the other day about how next time she wished there was a way to know for sure that the baby was still in there in between the regularly scheduled dr visit sonos. Obviously, she's a little gun shy about being PG again, as am I. Well, I told her not to worry, that I had heard of these sono clinics{from you ladies} and I want to get more info. ....So, I was wanting to know if you've been to one, what did you think? Are they expensive? Is it worth it? How does it work? Etc, etc.....

Thanks!

Took a year & a half, but I found it....

Took a year & a half, but I found it....the real-deal, no scheme, work-at-home job. Today was the third day of my new job, answering calls for a diabetic supply company. I'm almost afraid to say{think or type} it, cause I don't want to jinx myself, but it's actually going better than I expected! It is nothing like my last work from home job. NOTHING! I've never been a fan of getting up early and really 7:45am isn't early, but I'm so not a morning person at all, so that's the only thing that's no bueno for me. I start my work days{M-F} at 8:15 and work until 11:30. Have a short lunch break from 11:30-12pm and then continue working until 3:45ish. It's supposed to be 4pm, but so far, I've been getting off early. Bonus! The pay is $10/hour plus fifty cent commission on each transfer we get. All I do is take inbound calls and weed out the people that are really interested and or qualify for the program. If they do qualify, I get their basic info, name, address, etc. and transfer the call to a specialist. Each day consists of 100+ calls. It's busy, but it makes the time go by faster. I found out yesterday that the client is closing the company for Christmas and the new year, so I can either fill in for a different campaign or have a two week break! Haven't decided which it'll be yet....need to find out what the hours are before I commit.

Really hope this continues to be as good as it is now.