I tried talking to my mom the other day about IF. I don't know why I even bother "trying" to talk to her about this, It just makes me so sick feeling. I thought out of all people your mom is someone you can talk to about anything. Well I guess not my mom. I know they(her & my dad) were less than thrilled when we did IVF, but c'mon, it's my own mom....Why won't she talk to me about this? My sister had once told me that mom had told her she didn't like bringing it up with me cause she doesn't want to upset me, but if I bring it up then she will talk to me. That's a LOAD OF CRAP, and I so didn't want to say crap! Since my sister told me that(over a year ago) I have tried several times to bring up the topic. It doesn't matter what I say about it, she always changes the subject. It infuriates me and makes me feel alone. I need my mom to talk to and she clearly wants no part of it. *sigh* My most recent "try" was this last week when I was pulling weeds, I called my mom and was just chatting and without even thinking I brought up how it would be nice if insurance companies had to pay for IF treatment. To which she replies bluntly, that if anything they are going to start covering less. So I say, "a girl can dream. I just want a baby and it saddens me to think that there is no way we can come up with $9000 by the end of the year to do the reduced-price IVF that our RE offered us. He has only ever offered this kinda thing to 2 other people and we won't be able to do it." ......Wanna know what mom said? She says and I quote, "huh, I'm getting a new phone this week, a dr.oi.d. can't wait til it arrives, maybe you can help me figure it out." ....Is she FREAKIN' kidding me?!? That's all she can muster up to say to me, is huh? I don't get it. I don't get her. I'm getting an upset stomach just thinking about it.
If they really are against all this IVF I wish they would just come out and say, We don't want to talk about it, instead of picking and choosing what parts they want to talk about. GRR, I swear I could breath fire right now, I'm so mad! (I doubt this post is even going to be understandable since I can't even think straight right now, much less type.) Then they wonder why I don't come around very often, or when I do it's for a short amount of time. Seriously?
(Hugs) I am so, so, so sorry your mom treats you this way. She's missing out on a very important time in your life and she should be ashamed she isn't there for you. Maybe you could email her? Do you think she'd be able to put her thoughts down in writing where she has time to think about what she wants to say and will lay it out for you? Maybe that's an option.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. You're right you'd think your own mom would be there for you more. I understand what you're going through... I didn't get much support from my mom either. She said the same thing... didn't want to upset me or didn't know what to say. You should tell your mom how you feel & let her know how much you need her right now. (((HUGS))) girl.
ReplyDeleteBig (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI am sorry ^J^. It is so hard when you need the support the most from someone you love and you don't get it. I went through the same thing with a family member (but not with IF, it was religion).
I agree with Sherry...does she email?
She must know my mother!! Does she talk about other things with/about you or is just the IF stuff?
ReplyDelete(((((Hugs))))) Wowzers. I'm sorry, sweetie. I want to shake her for you.
ReplyDeleteWow!! :( I'm so sorry she's like that, especially so BLATANTLY! (((HUGS))) I'm with Jayme, I'd tell her how she makes you feel, just lay it all out on the table and see how she responds. (E-mail might be a good way to do it too!) I know that's easier said than done, though.
ReplyDeleteSeems like we all have dealt with this same problem with our mothers in one way or another. They are on a different level than we are, they only want us to be happy & not see us hurting like we do. I tried to put myself in my mom's shoes one day...maybe your mom will come around.
ReplyDelete(HUGS)