Thanks ladies for the options. A lot of you suggested I send my mom an email expressing my concern's(see yesterday's post). I guess I am kinda scared/nervous to see what would happen if I really poured my heart out in an email/letter. I just feel horribly sick to my stomach(everytime I think about it) for a week or so after I attempt to talk about it with her. And, I think it would be total devestation for me if I were to be shot down after a letter was sent.
She has no problem talking to me about anything else, it's just the topic of IF that she steers clear of. It's hard for me to know if I should open up about it or leave it alone....She has always been and still is a private person, never talking about "female issues" with anyone that I know of. To this day, she does not even write tampons/pads on the grocery list. Instead, it's referred to as "girl's stuff."
Growing up my dad was always telling us kids "your mother is gonna have a nervous breakdown." I heard it so often I thought it was a normal everyday occurance. Having said that, I've often been very cautious as to what I say around her, so as to not upset her. And now, with losing my brother she seems to be even more sensitive, which I get, but it's still hard for me....feeling that I can't talk to my mom about one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through.
She has no problem talking to you about "anything else" because they are safe subjects. I look at how people were raised, if she was raised in a household were certain things were taboo to talk about, this could be why she stays on neutral ground.
ReplyDeleteI personally would not email her. I would sit down face to face and talk with her...but go into the converstation with no expectations of how you want your mom to react to you. Tell her your thoughts & feelings. She may just surprise you!
Sending you some extra ((HUGS))& a few prayers too!
(Hugs) I wish I could give you better advice or be there with you when you talk to her. Would it help if we were all there to support you? ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry she doesn't feel "comfortable" talking about IF issues. My mother did that to me when I left my husband the first time. She really really upset me. WHen I left him the second and final time, my mother told me that she always regretted not talking to me and supporting me the first time around and that she was going to stand by me finally.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should just let her know how much it upsets you that she won't talk about it and kind of let that roll around in her head. Maybe she doesn't know that your upset about her not talking about it.