Bloody HELL

TODAY, more specifically, RIGHT NOW ~ I want to go back into the darkness, to the unknown, back into my little, naive world that all things would/will work out naturally. What is that anyway, naturally?? Is there even such a thing? Or, is it only a mirage? A delusion on my part....

Rewind to YESTERDAY ~ I called my RE's office, again....If you remember I called them(last month) after getting that false + on a defective HPT. Anyway, they never called me back, so I called yesterday and left L a message, saying I just wanted to know(for peace of mind every month) what my real chances were. WELL, you know the old saying 'be careful what you ask for'....It still holds true today. L called last night at 7:30, we talked for a bit, I told her my concerns and she said she would talk with my RE and get back with me tomorrow.

Fast forward to Earlier TODAY ~ L called around 6pm with "the news"....Lucky for me I was already sitting down when she said, "your "numbers" for getting PG on your own are less than 1%." I didn't figure we had much of a chance since it's been six years of TTC with 2 IUI's and 1 IVF/ICSI but, LESS THAN ONE PERCENT?!?!?! What the HELL?!?!?

I guess I got what I asked for...I wanted to know if I should even try and scrape together tiny shreds of hope each month, C after C?....Now, I know, there's no use. Absolutely none.