So I went and saw my Mamaw today. When J and I got there, none of the other family was there. I said hello and asked how she was doing and in the most pitiful voice, she replied, awful. She kept trying to reach the buttons to move the bed(or so I thought) and said something about not laying down. She wasn't talking real clearly.... I asked if she wanted me to move the bed so she could sit up a little? And she said, NO! I don't wanna LIVE!.... It broke my heart. The whole time we were there she just kept saying things about how she's ready to go and she wants to die and go see Jimmy(her husband) and her daddy. They're both in heaven already. It was so sad to see her like this. She is 86 and has lived a good life, but I'm not ready to let her go. The Dr ordered a CT and seems to think she will begin recovering but I guess I'm just bracing myself for the worst. Hopefully, I'm wrong, but after losing my brother and going through IF it's hard to imagine life with the "everything will be fine" perspective.
When I'm stressed, I bake. I just got done making homemade peppermint bark{see pic above} and now I'm off to see the wizard and make some sugar cookies and sour cream cookies. Looks like I'll be baking all night.
**Thanks for all the comments, hugs and prayers on my previous post.**
(hugs)
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie (((more hugs)))
ReplyDeleteThat is so hard. Hang in there, friend. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI bake when I'm stressed or upset too. In January when my grandma was dying I was baking like crazy.
ReplyDeleteI hope that both you and your grandma are given peace during this time and that everything will work out.