15 months old

Today is the two year anniversary of the 5day transfer of my lil'
embies. ;( I should have at least one if not twin 15 month old's
playing in my house right now. But instead, all I am left with is this
hole in my heart that will forever ache.

I am trying to stay distracted....two of my sister's spent the night
last night and today we are going to get our hair done and get some
lunch! But, pretty much I'm masking the pain with a fake smile. I
would much rather have horrible looking hair and enjoy life with my
children than vice versa.

I called my RE yesterday and left a message for his nurse to call
me....After getting the false positive last month I'm starting to
wonder if it was only a defective test or if I should even bother TTC
naturally & getting my hopes up every month. They never said we
couldn't get pg on our own. Maybe they were just trying to soften the
blow of IF. Anyways, when she calls I'm gonna ask about those concerns
and see what my RE says now after six years of TTC.

Life sucks with IF and all I want to do now is go crawl in a hole and
cry.